“Cheese-eating surrender monkeys!” “Ah you rosbifs-one hundred religions and only one sauce.” These are some of the non-pornographic insults that the French and British have been hurling across the channel for centuries. But why?
It has all the aspects of a family feud, since they fought each other almost constantly, but then came together to fight common enemies at times. In fact, they all came from the same Ice Age refuge in Basque country about 8,000 years ago. Maybe being cooped up in caves for thousands of years, they got on each other’s nerves, like our kids do when the weather has been really bad for a while. As soon as the glaciers started to melt they walked up the coast and settled the newly-visible lands. Britain was still attached to Europe at that time and one group went up to work on their Britishness while another went on to work on their Frenchness.
They consistently fought wars with each other for about 800 years and still can’t stand each other. When the Americans started their revolution, France helped, because they wouldn’t pass up an opportunity to stick it to the Brits. But why? Wonder no more, for a study has finally revealed the root of the animosity. According to The Telegraph,”Psychologists may have finally found a reason for the age-old animosity between the French and the British.”
You see, the Brits are stable extroverts and the French are neurotic introverts. Yes, this study, with data and everything, proves once and for all that the French are basically Aholes. Sure, the study was done by a Brit and published at Oxford, but hey, it has data!
I can’t wait for the French study; it will probably refer to cuisine, like “Science Shows Steady Diet of Boiled Beef Shrinks Brain Cells.”